A Tender Guide to Parting
“How to Say A Good-Bye!” by Dr. Maria Stylianou presents a gentle yet profound look at how three young friends—Pete, John, and Zoe—learn to cope with the heartache of losing someone they love. Though it appears simple at first glance, this children’s book holds a special relevance for adults who struggle to find the right words. The narrative is gentle, sprinkled with moments that feel like small beams of sunlight breaking through the dark clouds of grief. It doesn’t promise to eliminate sadness—rather, it offers a soft place to land when sorrow comes knocking.
Children often find it hard to voice what they’re experiencing, and parents sometimes feel they’re fumbling for a response. This touching tale bridges that gap, providing a shared language. Dr. Stylianou, who has a wealth of experience as an educational psychologist, uses her professional insight to address a universal challenge: how does one explain and ease the impact of loss for children? She answers with sincerity, hope, and a deep respect for each child’s emotional world.
Stories That Heal
Readers quickly notice that Pete, John, and Zoe experience loss in different ways. One might cry without words… another might search for constant closeness to the lost loved one. The distinct reactions show that grief is rarely neat or tidy—sometimes children just need a quiet space to feel, or a small gesture of comfort. By exploring each child’s way of grieving, the story inspires kids to see their own responses as valid and normal.
Some children might hold onto special memories, while others might talk about funny stories that keep the departed person close in spirit. The gentle wording reassures kids that they can carry on—step by step—without discarding their memories or love. Meanwhile, adults absorb vital lessons on how to answer tough questions like “Where did they go?” or “Will they ever come back?” Dr. Stylianou includes simple language that acknowledges a child’s confusion and sadness, yet still offers encouragement to move forward.
The book also serves as a helpful tool for parents who feel lost during these tough conversations. It’s easy to want to shield children from pain, but Dr. Stylianou suggests that speaking openly can help children process sorrow in a healthy way. Saying, “I miss them too” can be enough to let a child know they’re not alone. Repetition of soothing phrases has a quiet power—over time, children learn to use those words for themselves and even share them with others.
Embracing the Work of Mourning
This book’s roots stretch back to Freud’s concept of “the work of mourning,” introduced in the midst of the First World War. He wrote about the power of finding words to handle grief. Dr. Stylianou respects this principle, weaving it into a story that’s easy for children to absorb. She shows that talking doesn’t erase the loss, but it allows people to keep loved ones close in memory. Through conversation, the departed remain part of everyday life—no longer physically here, yet still present through cherished stories.
The healing process can’t be hurried. Families need time to adapt. That’s why the book’s narrative focuses on gentle pacing—each page offers encouragement to pause, reflect, and acknowledge the hurt that comes with saying goodbye. Dr. Stylianou’s approach shows readers that loss doesn’t signal the end of love. Instead, it becomes a reminder of how deeply they’ve cared. By embracing bittersweet memories, they maintain a loving connection to what’s gone.
Parents encountering grief in private practice often ask, “How do I explain this?” or “What can I possibly say?” The author answers with the book’s tender dialogue. She understands that a calm tone and consistent reassurance work wonders, even if the sadness is raw. Over time, as words of comfort sink in, healing quietly unfolds.
About Dr. Maria Stylianou
Dr. Maria Stylianou is an educational psychologist with a flourishing private practice in Nicosia. She completed her undergraduate, honors, and master’s degrees at the University of Natal in South Africa before moving on to the University of Liverpool in the UK for her PhD in developmental psychology. Following a post-doctoral position at the University of Central Lancashire—where she investigated social and emotional intelligence in children who felt isolated—she lectured at the same institution. Eventually, she relocated to Cyprus, lecturing part-time at the University of Nicosia and Neapolis University while maintaining her private practice.
Now devoting all her professional time to that practice, Dr. Stylianou assists children, adolescents, and adults with psychological assessments and psychotherapy, as well as offering parental counselling. Her expertise frames the message of “How to Say A Good-Bye!” in a way that feels genuine and grounded in real experience. The book is available through Amazon and at howtosayagoodbye.org.
For families searching for guidance on how to face heartbreak, this small volume offers a guiding light. Through it, children and parents discover that words can soften the sharp edges of loss, allowing them to hold onto precious memories with renewed tenderness. By recognizing that saying goodbye doesn’t end the love shared, “How to Say A Good-Bye!” encourages young hearts (and older ones too) to honor the past while gently stepping into what comes next.
We had the privilege of interviewing Maria Stylianou. Here are excerpts from the interview.
Hi Maria, It’s great to have you with us today! Please share about your book with our readers.
Hi, ‘How to Say A Good-Bye’ is a tiny tale about three little friends, Pete, John, and Zoe, and how they each come to terms with the loss of a loved one. While this is a children’s book written for children, it also aims to help parents find the words to soothe themselves and their children when dealing with loss.
As a psychologist in private practice, I often see how much parents struggle to deal with their children when there has been a loss in the family. This book is a way to help them find the words to impart to their children to help soften the loss as much as it can be, of course.
Any message for our readers?
Sometimes, to help children, parents need to help themselves by coming to terms with their own difficulties in dealing with any issue like loss, and then once they have processed it themselves, it will be easier to find the way, the words to help their children to deal with a very difficult life lesson.
Thank you so much, Maria, for giving us your precious time! We wish you all the best for your journey ahead!
